Building YOUR Happiness through Joy

There’s a misconception that happiness exists in the absence of hardship. That’s not true! In a world that can feel like it doesn’t even want us, it’s easy to forget the power of joy. Joy is a building block of happiness. I’m one of the queer folks that believes our joy is an act of resistance—a reminder that despite societal struggles, we are still here, still thriving, still finding moments of happiness. Queer joy isn’t just about celebrating milestones or success; it’s about embracing those small, fleeting moments that remind us of our strength, resilience, our worth, and our beauty!

But it’s not always easy. Our brains are hardwired to protect us, and hiding is the primitive human’s first line of defense! (We all have a primitive human living in our brains, trust me!) Hiding doesn't foster joy and doesn't build happiness.

So, what do we do? How do we live in a world trying to erase us, deal with a family that only maybe kinda gets us and still feel happy. Still experience joy.

The answer lies in embracing our resilience, honoring our unique experiences, and celebrating the little victories and beauty that are uniquely ours!

Let’s explore a few ways to do this:

1. Be YOU and recognize what you’re seeking. Yes, especially in the USA right now, some shit sucks! Do not disagree at all. I am here for the anger, I understand the fear, AND I want you to feel some joy. Your happiness won’t look like someone else’s, and your joy won’t feel like someone else’s. Don’t compare yourself or look for a quick fix. Don’t wait for the world to be better. Look around, pay attention, build awareness, and learn how to create joy.  Whether it’s dancing in your living room to your favorite song, sharing a quiet moment with a chosen family member, or simply basking in the warmth of the sun—these moments are powerful. They remind us that despite everything the world may throw at us, we are allowed to be happy, we are allowed to feel joy.

Action Step: Take a moment today to acknowledge one simple, joyful thing you’ve experienced, no matter how small. Allow yourself to bask in it without guilt.

2. The Beauty of Shared Experiences Sometimes, the joy of being seen and understood is the most powerful. Finding people who share your experiences, who “get it,” can bring immense comfort and liberation. Whether it’s sharing a laugh over a meme, playing a game (online or IRL) with another queer person, or attending a queer gathering where you can finally exhale, shared joy builds connection. These moments remind us that we’re not alone—our joy is collective, and in sharing it, we create spaces of belonging.

Action Step: Reach out to a friend or community member today. Share something that makes you happy and see how it can spark joy in someone else.

Struggling to find community? Stick around, another blog is coming all about that!!

3. Finding Joy in the Struggle It’s easy to think of joy as something that comes after overcoming struggle. But sometimes, joy is found in the process itself. The struggle of coming out, navigating relationships, dealing with microaggressions—it’s hard, no doubt. But it’s also part of our journey. Queer joy is found in the little things that make this journey worth it, like the solidarity we share with others who understand or the quiet strength we find in the hardest of moments. There is beauty in resistance, and there’s joy to be found in standing firm in our authenticity.

Action Step: Reflect on a recent challenge and think about what you learned from it. How did it strengthen you, and how did it help you connect to your joy?

4. The Role of Self-Care in Cultivating Joy Queer joy isn’t just external—it’s deeply personal. It's an action! It’s about recognizing your worth and making space for yourself, just as you are. Self-care plays a huge role in this: by prioritizing our mental health, setting boundaries, and practicing self-love, we’re giving ourselves the gift of joy. We are gathering our building blocks to happiness.

Action Step: What is one thing you can do today to take care of yourself? Whether it’s setting a boundary, taking a break, or indulging in something that brings you peace, make time for yourself.

Queer joy is not a fleeting feeling—it’s a lifelong journey. It’s not about being happy all the time but about finding resilience and beauty in the moments, the struggles, and the connections we make along the way. It’s a reminder that despite the hardships, we are worthy of happiness, we are worthy of love, and we are worthy of joy.

So let’s keep seeking it. Let’s keep celebrating it. Let’s keep holding space for joy, even when it feels hard to find. Because we deserve it, "thorns and all."

Share with the community what brings you joy! (Comment below.)